barbermonger: a one on one roleplay search forum

WELCOME TO BARBERMONGER
WHAT IS BARBERMONGER?

BARBERMONGER is a site designed to help roleplayers find other roleplayers, specifically one-on-one roleplayers, as opposed to larger roleplay games. Functioning like a pinboard, BARBERMONGER allows users to create advertisements, bump advertisements, and respond to other advertisements, without requiring them to register an account. However, registering an account will allow you to edit your posts, find your own topics, and use the private messaging system.

HELPFUL LINKS:

BARBERMONGER RULES
REGISTER AN ACCOUNT
TODAY'S ACTIVE TOPICS
MEMBERS
SEARCH WITH JCINK
SEARCH WITH GOOGLE



Pages: (2) 1 2  ( Go to first unread post )
Add Reply
New Topic
New Poll

 barbercize, get ripped!!
bird
 Posted: Dec 14 2015, 10:40 AM
Quote

number one dad
Group: Members
Posts: 491
Joined: 25-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




hey, barberbutts!

my name is coach bird and i want to

PUMP

YOU

UP



for most of us, this time of year is when things get pretty crazy and it becomes harder and harder to keep up with healthy habits, between exams, bad weather, traveling to see loved ones, the general lack of sunlight, and whatever else life is throwing your way. also, i hate new year's resolutions because i'm an incredibly impatient person and can't wait that long.

so here is your fitness thread, barberbutts! whether you're an avid gym rat or not really sure about this whole 'working out' thing anyway, whether you're into yoga or judo or running or dance or hiking or walking or whatever else, come here to set goals, track laps, stay accountable, share embarassing workout jams, get tips, be generally sweaty, and cheer each other on!

i recommend setting longer-term but attainable goals ('run a full 5k', 'bench my bodyweight', 'get into crow pose') and breaking them down into smaller, more manageable steps ('follow the RW couch to 5k program', 'bench press twice a week') that you can track here. but you do you!

note: for a number of reasons i'd like to keep discussions about diet to a minimum! we've all got different goals, needs, bodies, and relationships with food; let's keep this thread focused on staying healthy, active and positive.

now drop and give me twenty!


--------------------
PMEmail
^
XANDER
 Posted: Jan 26 2016, 11:17 AM
Quote

local advice god
Group: Admin
Posts: 1142
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




REVIVAL OF THIS THREAD



I HAVE FITNESS GOALS BARBERMONGER

GONNA EDIT THIS AT WORK
BECAUSE WORKING AT WORKING, LOL

--------------------
user posted image

PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
XANDER
 Posted: Apr 2 2016, 11:25 AM
Quote

local advice god
Group: Admin
Posts: 1142
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




REVIVAL, PART 2

MY CREDENTIALS

EXHIBIT 1
I CHALLENGE MEN TO PULL-UP CONTESTS AT WORK, AND WIN
user posted image

EXHIBIT 2
user posted image

okay now for my fitness goals
  1. do a headstand (yoga move)
  2. do 50 push-ups in two minutes
  3. do 20 pull-ups back to back
  4. do 5 one-armed pull-ups on each arm
  5. do a full split on each leg
  6. one-legged king pigeon both sides
  7. run an 8 minute mile
  8. do a 100 meter sprint in 15 seconds
for reference, barbermonger, i was never an athlete. i was raised by books and neopets.com, and my real reason for getting into fitness was because i wanted to more strongly resemble my own roleplay characters (THEY ARE ALL SO FIT AND COOL, WHY CAN'T I BE THIS COOL????) i joined a 24-hour gym in 2013 and started to go to the gym for 30 minutes after work, at 10:30pm at night. if i went twice a week, that shit was impressive.

now, i am currently working towards my 200 hour yoga teaching certification, and i will be the only girl playing flag football with my mostly all-male workforce this sunday. fitness goals are never accomplished overnight, and are always accomplished through consistency, not intensity.

other stuff
  • it is normal to hate the gym. you are going to hate the gym if you have never gone and you start going. people will tell you it is about "finding something you like", and they are at least 50% lying. working out is about being able to force yourself to do shit you hate in the short-term for something you really want in the long-term. your ability to make yourself do shit you hate is the real determiner of your success.
  • PROTEIN SHAKES = YES. BUY PROTEIN. TAKE IT AFTER YOUR WORKOUT. you will be in significantly less pain.
  • no one really cares about you at the gym. if you feel self-conscious, remind yourself that everyone is there because they are obsessed with making their own kind of progress. i for one only stare people down if 1) they are so super fit and i want to Be Them or 2) when the fuck are you getting off the hamstring curl machine
F I T N E S S
PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
bird
 Posted: Apr 10 2016, 03:41 PM
Quote

number one dad
Group: Members
Posts: 491
Joined: 25-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




lmao coach bird is a failure as a coach

but i am BACK ladies and gents!! i'm back. and i am happy to report that actually football season and strength training for football did go very well - mostly without a hitch. i played as the tiniest defensive tackle in the league and i got a lot of big hits. i also got a concussion and then i got really sad/tired/lazy for like two months so i've been basically sedentary since and heeeere we are.

the last cool strength thing i did before i fell off the wagon was a lot of strongman stuff at my old gym, where i did stuff like this (sorry for the screenshot - i can't figure out how to save/download my own video from facebook):

user posted image


here i am very photogenically demonstrating farmer's walks with 110lbs in each hand, or 220lbs total. with this you must run (well, more like waddle, tbqh, because it's very difficult to stabilize) for a pretty long distance. i've done these with as much as 150lbs in each hand and think i could do more one day! i've also managed running at full tilt with a mean ~400lbs on something called a yoke and various other absurd movements, like cleaning and jerking a 130lb bag of rocks over my head. however, i've since moved away and going to my cool strongman gym with cool strongman people isn't feasible at the moment with my current location and financial/health situation.

prior to this i spent three years competing in provincial olympic weightlifting competitions (where i did ..... okay), noodling around with powerlifting, and also doing a bunch of sports in high school like cross-country and swimming, plus the aforementioned football. unfortunately, i've had so many setbacks at this point (including a host of knee injuries that make it hard for me to squat, which is literally my favourite thing) that it's hard to stay motivated to go back in the gym and struggle with weights that used to be my warm-up weight.

so i think the thing to do is try something new!

here is what i am going to do: i hate at-home workouts. i really really fucking do, and i can't stay motivated -- a big part of my weightlifting life was the social aspect of it, and while i enjoy being strong and pumping iron, what i really enjoy is hanging out with men and women who are bigger, buffer, and cooler than me. by the way, i highly recommend doing that -- there's a reason why crossfit is so popular, and literally anything else with a group dynamic, and lifting bros tend to be hilarious and really chill and easy to get along with!

but, my life tends to uproot itself every 6-8 months so that's not what makes sense right now, especially since i am not employed and can't really afford a gym membership.

so for the next little while, i have a 20kg (~45lb) kettlebell and a hilariously shitty gym in my building. i bought this dumb thing a while ago and i've been using it semi-consistently but i plan on working up to completing this stupid thing (i don't even want to quote it, it's too bad/good -- and this from dan john, who generally is considered by most to know his shit) because
  • it's an arbitrary number
  • i really need to do more cardio for the sake of myself, any team sport i want to play (football!!), and not being humiliated if i ever try strongman for real, and
  • running (and especially sprinting) on concrete with a bum knee and a bum hip is probably a bad idea.
i've also tried this thing once before and i gave up about 2.5 weeks in, mostly because it's impossible to do while also lifting but also because it's hard. now i have nothing else to do, so it seems like as good a time as any. i am also going to try and make myself work on physio and mobility things so that when i do get back in the gym i can do the stuff that i like more safely.

there are more reasonable kettlebell progressions and i will probably do one of those prior to trying this again because i've been sedentary for two months. but it's a fun goal to shoot for! if only because anything off of t-nation is so hilariously dumb that i have to attempt at least one thing for the sake of being the idiot gym bro we always knew that i was.

i will report back in having either a) failed or b ) become the owner of an ass carved out of chiseled concrete or c) somewhere in between, which is the likeliest option. godspeed, barbermongers. also, if any of you guys need advice for pumping iron i am a pretty knowledgeable bird and i will do my best.
PMEmail
^
knox
 Posted: Apr 11 2016, 11:48 AM
Quote

basically a ghost
Group: Members
Posts: 179
Joined: 13-April 13

Status: Offline

Awards:




k is my name, cardio is my game.
keeping this short and sweet, folks.

short term goals:
  • maintain 6 min/mile for 3 miles
(i am at ~6.30 for the third mile rn-- not bad.
probably won't take me longer than a month to shave that down.)

long term goals:
  • improve balance
  • swim the 100 yard butterfly
for the former, not so much yoga as continued pt and weight training.
might find coach for the latter.
perhaps will come back to post pic of abs in wet swimsuit.

user posted image
PM
^
alyeska
 Posted: Apr 11 2016, 11:50 AM
Quote

trash prince
Group: Members
Posts: 173
Joined: 29-October 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




your ability to make yourself do shit you hate is the real determiner of your success

i want this available in hanging quote form
user posted image
when i die they can hang it on my grave too.


in the meantime, i'm both in awe of everyone, and more motivated.
i've actually been trying to, uh, what i'm going to very politely and vaguely describe as 'get back into shape'. but the whole being uprooted every few months and unable to afford a gym membership speaks to me on a very deep level, something that's stopped me from going back to a gym.
i just can't commit, i say.
i don't have the means right now, i tell myself.
i am quite possibly the whiniest motherfucker on the east coast, i realize.

so i made a plan to start. like. what is again quite possibly the lamest home routine ever. and i realized that having stopped doing yoga and working at a job that was basically a workout in and of itself, i'm back to square one. (thank you, chronic illness).
now i'm very much looking into what incredibly basic shit i can do at home and resuming daily yoga (which has thrilled my mother the yoga enthusiast and teacher, but is a lot more difficult than i remember) so even tho these are incredibly basic short term steps to goals with arbitrary numbers, here they are:


-100 sit ups without stopping bc this just seems important to me bc i used to be able to
-100 kb squats
-50 lunges
-30 push ups (this is so optimistic tbh)
but like the thing is being able to do all of these things in one workout would put me back @ where i started before all this shit happened so yeah. motivation right ?


and i really like that link so i'm gonna break that kb swing program down into something a bit smaller when i have free time later and try to incorporate it so i'll update that... i have some weight lifting related goals as well that i'm uncomfortable sharing atm no offense barber but i'll come back to this when i'm at like fitness step five or smt. also in terms of balance id like to be able to hold vriksasana/tree post for x amount of time (i'll come back to this one when i can actually, you know, hold it)
PMEmail
^
bird
 Posted: Apr 11 2016, 01:05 PM
Quote

number one dad
Group: Members
Posts: 491
Joined: 25-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




weight training resources??


don't know if this is actually helpful to you guys and this will probably read as more know-it-all-ish or overwhelming than genuinely useful. BUT here is some stuff that has really helped me get stronk and maybe if you want to it will help you too.


  
beginner strength resources

so a beginner is someone who's done like 0-12 months of weight training. being a beginner is great! when you're a beginner, you can basically flail around in any which way and get a little stronger. but if you really want to get stronger and have more muscle and not peter out in a few weeks, what you want is to do a bunch of the big lifts with low to medium reps (say, 5-12), and increase the weight on a regular basis (every session or every week) in what's called a linear progression. you can also throw in more body-building type stuff as accessory work after your main sets (and i would recommend it tbh because a lot of these programs are on the low-volume side, especially if you have some athletic background)

for upper body lifts if you can't start with the bar use dumbbells (when i started i sure as hell couldn't overhead press the bar)
  • starting strength is pretty popular and available as 1. a book or 2. just about anywhere if you look online. basically it's a pretty simple linear progression where you learn to squat, bench, deadlift and overhead press. (i'd skip the power cleans because u gotta kno how to do that shit right). greyskull LP is also very similar.
  • stronglifts is also very very similar but on a 5x5 scheme instead of a 3x5 scheme. this is what i did when i was starting out because it was easy to remember
  • westside for skinny bastards - never tried this one but it's more flexible and some people like it. also this link is like, straight up bro shit and i'm laughing pretty hard at it. but if you skip the parts about I MADE THIS FOOTBALL PLAYER HYOOOOOOOOGE it's actually not that bad. i would probably say pick one lift consistently for the max effort (that's category 'A') stuff and work on that for at least 6 weeks, instead of hopping around between them. for accessory (B-E) stuff do what you feel~
  • new rules of lifting for women - so i wanted to include this because i don't recommend it, but when i started lifting weights it was before crossfit and stuff made women in the weightroom much more common, and there weren't a lot of resources for weightlifting outside of, like, bodybuilding.com. so this was all i had! and, in fairness this is a pretty solid program, especially if you're someone coming from a background of going to the gym but only using the machines, or if you're someone who's afraid that lifting will make you bulky. but here's the thing -- women and men and everyone else can train the exact same way -- which is the thesis of this book too, so why do you need a program called 'lifting for women'. i found it frankly annoying and over-complicated and too hand-hold-y and quickly switched over to stronglifts. but there is some comprehensive discussion of diet and training, and there's a lot of variety for the easily bored i guess?? i guess. anyway I DIDN'T LIKE IT, BUT YOU MIGHT, and anything that makes strength training more accessible gets some respect in my book.

intermediate strength resources

so someone who's been lifting for 12-24 months would probably be 'intermediate'. and after... five years now, i still am! basically if you hit a point where you can't keep increasing the weight every week on a linear progression that's where you start getting into these programs
  • texas method - pretty much the natural succession for starting strength. good for you if you want to do a full-body workout every day. p. simple; i liked this one. bill starr's 5x5 and madcow are basically the same thing
  • juggernaut method 2.0 - so this one's one that you gotta pay for but if you PM me i can send you the pdf. i really really like this one - you can adapt it for various sports/lifts/goals, there's a lot of accessory hypertrophy work (lol bodybuilding) as well as strength and power work, and the goal is pretty much to make you a well-rounded athlete without destroying you. the cons are: 1. you need the pdf and 2. it can be a lot, and you are probably going to have to make an excel spreadsheet (which... i also did.... and have). but it's probably my favourite program that i've ever done and gotten the best results with
  • wendler's 5/3/1 is similar to juggernaut but maybe a little slower -- you reaaally gotta be patient but this goes very well with the idea that fitness is not an overnight thing and about consistency and not intensity!!! i haven't done it but i know many guys and gals that have and been pretty successful on it.
  • coan-phillipi deadlift program - so i didn't really want to include this here because it's more of a specialty program and really if you're not a powerlifter... no one cares about how much you deadlift. but! if you already lift and have been lifting a while and you want to impress the gym bros by lifting some big wheels i can think of no better deadlift program. (just be realistic with the goals you set!)
other stuff
  • strengtheory - greg nuckols is a hyper-knowledgeable hyper-strong dude to the point where his articles might be a little overwhelming unless you're like me and a strength training nerd. but! there's lots of stuff on the programming and technique and the straight dope about random buzzwords you hear thrown around in the fitness world. he's a smart dude and an athlete as well as a scientist which is more often than not ... not the case when it comes to the fitness world.

  • examine - so i know we said we weren't going to talk about diet but if you've ever set foot in a gym or read about fitness you've probably been bombarded with ads for supplements. so these guys are the snopes.com of supplements and nutrition - if you heard about taking some vitamin, or some protein shake or preworkout, and want the straight dope on it, these guys have your back. also they're free, and in addition to just looking up a supplement they have a lot of fitness/nutrition myths debunking in their blog. (eg. is red meat bad for you??? how much protein do i need???? is there any merit to a detox diet or a juice cleanse?? (spoiler alert: no) - you get the idea)

  • UNSOLICITED ADVICE - don't wear squishy shoes like runners, don't wear gloves, and use chalk (if your gym doesn't have it it's cheap, and if it doesn't allow it there's liquid chalk). do lots of pull-ups if you can and lots of negatives and hangs if you can't. don't listen to 99% of the things gym bros say to you, because they are often idiots. sleep lots and eat well. you don't need any real special equipment to lift except MAYBE a good lifting belt or some wraps, and that's only if/when you get really serious about it. you won't get bulky unless you want to, and also being 'toned' is just 'having muscle'. always set up the safety bars in the rack and watch youtube videos or ask people if you don't know how to do something. have fun. godspeed and good luck.
PMEmail
^
bird
 Posted: Apr 11 2016, 01:54 PM
Quote

number one dad
Group: Members
Posts: 491
Joined: 25-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




OTHER STUFF:
  • i am so impressed with everyone here. ssssserrriously. xander is RIPPED, k is speedy as hell, and alaska is determined!!! we gon be great.

  • also shucks alaska thank you!! don't be embarrassed; everyone starts somewhere.

  • and it looks like we're kettlebuddies! simple & sinister is probably the more sensible KB progression out there but i can't be assed to pay money for it (although i've found it broken down online). lemme know how you do with dem 10,000 swings; i'm like 300 down with the 20kg and i am really fucking sore right now

  • somewhere there is a video of me swinging a 36kg and a 40kg bell and it is really funny and if i can find it i will post it here so that everyone can laugh since it's basically just aggressive air-humping
user posted image


<3

COACH BIRD IS PROUD OF YOU ALL

KEEP AT IT
PMEmail
^
alyeska
 Posted: Apr 12 2016, 08:35 AM
Quote

trash prince
Group: Members
Posts: 173
Joined: 29-October 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




PMEmail
^
bird
 Posted: Apr 13 2016, 04:00 PM
Quote

number one dad
Group: Members
Posts: 491
Joined: 25-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




barbercize progress:

i am working up to the 500 swings/day thing and so i've been doing 100-300 swings/day for the past three days. which is not much but after being sedentary for two months, this is probably the closest thing to cardio i've done since football. i may take a day off today. idk.

other stuff i've been doing: yoga and PT stuff, and tomorrow i'm going to work out an upper body weights routine i can do in the shitty building gym because i'm vain and i like having big shoulders.

also i was feeling pretty 'meh' about getting back in the weight room but now i'm trying to find a cheap gym just so i can bust out some deadlifts again thanks to you crazy kids. my body thanks you, but my wallet doesn't.

so far, however, two observations:

1. i have always hated interval workouts and i especially hate them now

2. jesus my ass hurts
PMEmail
^
bird
 Posted: Apr 17 2016, 07:39 PM
Quote

number one dad
Group: Members
Posts: 491
Joined: 25-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:





1990's mark wahlberg has an encouraging message for all y'all




POW
PMEmail
^
Bleedpretty
 Posted: Jul 14 2016, 06:56 PM
Quote

animal impulses
Group: Members
Posts: 294
Joined: 3-February 15

Status: Offline

Awards:




i figured this would be the place to ask, but:

QUOTE
PROTEIN SHAKES = YES. BUY PROTEIN. TAKE IT AFTER YOUR WORKOUT. you will be in significantly less pain.


out of curiosity, what brand do you use xander? right now i'm on EAS- whey. it's okay aside from the clumping factor but i haven't really ever had a protein shake that DIDN'T clump up on me. just wondering if you have found the magical kind that doesn't.

i second that using them after your workout helps quite a bit. i drink them after every run. muscle fatigue be gone.

--------------------
And I watered it in fears,
Night and morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.
PMEmail
^
bird
 Posted: Jul 16 2016, 05:49 AM
Quote

number one dad
Group: Members
Posts: 491
Joined: 25-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




QUOTE (Bleedpretty @ Jul 14 2016, 07:56 PM)
i figured this would be the place to ask, but:

QUOTE
PROTEIN SHAKES = YES. BUY PROTEIN. TAKE IT AFTER YOUR WORKOUT. you will be in significantly less pain.


out of curiosity, what brand do you use xander? right now i'm on EAS- whey. it's okay aside from the clumping factor but i haven't really ever had a protein shake that DIDN'T clump up on me. just wondering if you have found the magical kind that doesn't.

i second that using them after your workout helps quite a bit. i drink them after every run. muscle fatigue be gone.



i ain't xander but i can definitely vouch for canadian protein, which is where i buy wholesale from. it dissolves pretty well and is actually pretty cheap (at least here in canuckland), along with tasting good and being run by pretty nice people. there's probably more options south of the border for you ameribros but i just feel like plugging these guys because they're super nice people to buy literal buckets of protein from.

otherwise, optimum nutrition (the 100% whey or w/e) is tasty but super $$$$$.

also if you're looking to recover well from hardcore strength training stuff i can't recommend creatine enough, although i don't believe it's as useful if you're doing cardio. def helped me out in terms of soreness/feeling like i could actually recover from shit though. i mention it because i'd usually just mix in a little with my protein shake.
PMEmail
^
bird
 Posted: Jul 16 2016, 05:56 AM
Quote

number one dad
Group: Members
Posts: 491
Joined: 25-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




on another note shit, bm, i have all this anxiety about the gym now and i've been mega-slacking on it and using my jet lag (which, in fairness, was a lot of jet lag) and poor sleep schedule as an excuse.

i am posting this here in the hopes that it will motivate me or someone else to kick me in the butt and tell me to suck it up and go do arms. (my arms fit into button-up shirts now. very upsetting.) also, don't be me and get enough sleep! science has proven that sleep makes you more buff and shit.
PMEmail
^
Bleedpretty
 Posted: Jul 16 2016, 03:34 PM
Quote

animal impulses
Group: Members
Posts: 294
Joined: 3-February 15

Status: Offline

Awards:




QUOTE (bird @ Jul 16 2016, 04:49 AM)


i ain't xander but i can definitely vouch for canadian protein, which is where i buy wholesale from. it dissolves pretty well and is actually pretty cheap (at least here in canuckland), along with tasting good and being run by pretty nice people. there's probably more options south of the border for you ameribros but i just feel like plugging these guys because they're super nice people to buy literal buckets of protein from.

otherwise, optimum nutrition (the 100% whey or w/e) is tasty but super $$$$$.

also if you're looking to recover well from hardcore strength training stuff i can't recommend creatine enough, although i don't believe it's as useful if you're doing cardio. def helped me out in terms of soreness/feeling like i could actually recover from shit though. i mention it because i'd usually just mix in a little with my protein shake.


AMERIBROS. wow i just love that.

anywho, thanks for this site! question- does it mix well? i have found little to no success with getting protein shakes to mix up without a blender. which is annoying. a minor annoyance maybe but an annoyance all the same. i even have one of those little metal wisk ball things. i mean... it's fine. i won't stop drinking them because of that but the dry globs of power are kinda gross.

i've heard of creatine, but i haven't ever used it. i was looking into it when i started lifting a lot a few years ago. i will have to look into it again when i actually start to try and strength train instead of just thinking about strength training.

also, i think a break every now and then isn't so bad a thing. it kind of sucks getting back into the swing of it though. I slacked on running for about a week, went this morning and for the first 15 mins i was wondering why in world i ever liked doing this. then the endorphin high kicked in and i remembered.
you can do it bird! get sleep and do arms!
PMEmail
^
0 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

Topic Options
Pages: (2) 1 2 
Add Reply
New Topic
New Poll


 


 

AFFILIATES
Shadowplay Roleplay Gateway Fragile Things


skin created by they-go of RCR, CAUTION, they go and wombat designs