barbermonger: a one on one roleplay search forum

WELCOME TO BARBERMONGER
WHAT IS BARBERMONGER?

BARBERMONGER is a site designed to help roleplayers find other roleplayers, specifically one-on-one roleplayers, as opposed to larger roleplay games. Functioning like a pinboard, BARBERMONGER allows users to create advertisements, bump advertisements, and respond to other advertisements, without requiring them to register an account. However, registering an account will allow you to edit your posts, find your own topics, and use the private messaging system.

HELPFUL LINKS:

BARBERMONGER RULES
REGISTER AN ACCOUNT
TODAY'S ACTIVE TOPICS
MEMBERS
SEARCH WITH JCINK
SEARCH WITH GOOGLE



Pages: (10) 1 2 3 ... Last » ( Go to first unread post )
Add Reply
New Topic
New Poll

 lifeblog, shady life choices + introspection
XANDER
 Posted: Jun 4 2015, 02:42 PM
Quote

tiefling bard
Group: Admin
Posts: 1130
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




user posted image

user posted image

read on for...
...endless introspection
...relationship drama
...nature pictures
...stories from the car dealership


--------------------
user posted image

PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
XANDER
 Posted: Jun 4 2015, 02:44 PM
Quote

tiefling bard
Group: Admin
Posts: 1130
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




    today i realized that my crippling fear of submitting my resume correlates with my 4 years of online dating experience where i calmly expect people to throw themselves at my feet so i can summarily reject them

    being on the other side of that fills me with horror
PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
XANDER
 Posted: Jun 18 2015, 01:33 AM
Quote

tiefling bard
Group: Admin
Posts: 1130
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




    today before i sleep: a brief ode to my new friend tyler, whom i consider some mystical gift straight from the internet

    you see, in my cruising around ok cupid, i raised my hand and i said "do you have a group of friends that plays board games? let me into your friend group, i will make you cake." this is the kind of obnoxious and arbitrary request i occasionally send out into the world because failure is guaranteed if you don't try, but if you do try you can at least comfort yourself with that on the cold nights. well, out tyler came, with his entire LEGION of friends, the only stipulation that we play chess in a coffee shop before i came to board game day. well folks, who would say no to that deal???

    UNBELIEVABLY, all SEVEN of tyler's friends seem to be stable, intelligent, and overall friendly folks, all of them gainfully employed. tyler himself, though much more introverted in person, is the perfect quiet dude sidekick friend. even as a constantly blabbering extrovert, i am learning to enjoy the simple pleasure of just sitting in total silence with someone without having to make sounds to demonstrate i am aware of their continuous existence.

    here's to you tyler, for donating all your friends, $100 towards a rock climbing pass, and the priceless artifact that is being a dude in my presence and not trying to date me. here's to YOU.
PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
XANDER
 Posted: Jun 25 2015, 05:22 PM
Quote

tiefling bard
Group: Admin
Posts: 1130
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




    today i realized that there is no amount of resume bullshittery that is unacceptable when you are fighting tooth and nail to get a job that pays you reasonably

    from this day forward i will make it sound like selling cars taught me how to train elephants if that's what it takes
PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
XANDER
 Posted: Jun 26 2015, 11:43 PM
Quote

tiefling bard
Group: Admin
Posts: 1130
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




    today i finally managed to discern a concrete piece of evidence in my general manger's PATHOLOGICAL ISSUES WITH ME oh my god

    i am extremely good at sensing whether or not people like me as a highly evolved social survival mechanism, and i have felt like my new GM has wEiRd IsSuEs ever since i moved to CA. but you see, every time he manages to put me through the hazing/torture process of calling me into his office to trigger a 40 minute meltdown from me, he has a Reason! and while all of my senses tell me that HE HAS AN UNDERLYING PROBLEM WITH ME, THESE REASONS COULD GO EITHER WAY, i have not known him long enough to be certain.

    the X factor here is that i am a total babe and this is more than capable of totally psyching most dudes out.

    TODAY, i went into his office to say something nice about one of the mid-level managers and how great he is! and it went like this

    QUOTE
    me: i just wanted to come in and say _______ did a great job! he is always so quick and gets things moving and it is very easy to roll deals with him.
    gm: yes he is very efficient
    gm: ...you know the reason he had everything ready is because i told him to push the deal


    i fucking SEE YOU crazy GM!!! i see you and your weird hangup with randomly impressing how great you are and being weirdly nice to me earlier this week!!! you can't manage to be nice to me in person because you have WEIRD FEELINGS and you can only hide them by being a total fucking troll to me face-to-face!!!

    might i tenderly recommend you just go the path of my old GM and send me hilariously inappropriate text messages from your work phone??? maybe it will CALM YOU THE FUCK DOWN
PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
XANDER
 Posted: Jun 27 2015, 11:21 PM
Quote

tiefling bard
Group: Admin
Posts: 1130
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




    today i confirmed that the reason my boss was nice to me for two (2) days was that he is promoting someone else next week

    even though i am the only one left with enough experience
    and i moved across the country

    user posted image
PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
XANDER
 Posted: Jun 28 2015, 02:01 AM
Quote

tiefling bard
Group: Admin
Posts: 1130
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




    user posted image

    but what if i'll never be as happy as i was That One Time, barbermonger

    what

    if


    'but it will be okay xander,' you whisper, patting my tousled hair

    'NO' i scream, practically ejecting myself from my chair 'EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT AND NOW IT IS RUINED AND THE REST OF MY LIFE WILL BE A HOLE FILLED WITH EMPTINESS AND UNFULFILLED LONGING AND--'

    'calm down xander'

    'AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!' i pull reams of typed pages from my jacket and throw them wildly into the air, as if i am creating a rap music video, but instead of money i have lovingly maintained archives of all my thoughts and interactions across the years

    'maybe you should get rid of these xander'

    i punch you in the face and grab all my papers and eat them
PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
XANDER
 Posted: Jul 2 2015, 12:59 AM
Quote

tiefling bard
Group: Admin
Posts: 1130
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




    >> be me
    >> get passed over for promotion
    >> feel horrifically guilty over potentially embarrassing your old boss with your failure
    >> text him to tell him you failed
    >> old boss asks why
    >> tell him that everyone wants you to be an agreeable drone
    >> he believes you
    >> says he'll call his boss and talk about it




    i have two types of bosses: bosses that love me and bosses that want me to explode in flames
PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
XANDER
 Posted: Jul 2 2015, 06:46 PM
Quote

tiefling bard
Group: Admin
Posts: 1130
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




    user posted image

    old boss best boss

    QUOTE
    (old boss repeating conversation he had with my manager's manger)

    xander is a person who questions everything
    and it isn't just 'why this? why that?' kinds of questions
    she questions the fundamental nature of things
    she wants to understand
    because then she will reverse engineer it and make it best
    she can be very challenging to work with and maybe [new boss] isn't ready for that
PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
XANDER
 Posted: Jul 5 2015, 05:12 PM
Quote

tiefling bard
Group: Admin
Posts: 1130
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




    yesterday i got drunk and put my phone in a bowl of salsa and today i learned my dad is watching Orange Is The New Black before i am

    side note: my phone is fine and i remedied the situation by watching s01 ep01
PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
XANDER
 Posted: Jul 6 2015, 08:58 PM
Quote

tiefling bard
Group: Admin
Posts: 1130
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




    today another one of my coworkers put in their notice and management responded by panicking and buying us boxes of ice cream treats

    it tastes like their panic and regret and i laugh at them
PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
XANDER
 Posted: Jul 7 2015, 09:10 PM
Quote

tiefling bard
Group: Admin
Posts: 1130
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




    called my regional manager
    got offered promotion at different location
    i screamed this ace of base in my song head for the rest of the day



    edit: after telling me 'no worries' on basically punching my managers into promoting me, old boss's next text was
    QUOTE
    so my new favorite song is Trap Queen


    at some point i must have rejected living in reality and there was no going back for me

    QUOTE
    we can learn the dance routine and have a flash dance battle when we meet next
PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
XANDER
 Posted: Jul 9 2015, 01:34 AM
Quote

tiefling bard
Group: Admin
Posts: 1130
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




    regional manager calls me back
    tells me i gotta finish out the month at my current store
    tells me i gotta be nice to my current boss
    so his ego doesn't melt down
    and because one day he will be my new regional manager

    Be Nice Sasha
    Be Nice

    user posted image

    i have 14 working days left at this office and i have to see my boss for 11 of them and i am going to have to struggle to suppress equal parts extreme smugness and unparalleled fucking rage because YOU TRIED TO TRICK ME MOTHERFUCKER, YOU TRIED TO SELL ME ON THE MISERABLE FUCKING MINDGAME OF THINKING INSIDE STUPID ASS REMEDIAL BOXES AND REPACKAGING MY HEALTHY SKEPTICISM AS TRUST ISSUES YOU ARE A FEARFUL WEAK LITTLE MAN but it's okay, because i win, you tried to beat me but i have beaten you, me, a little girl with 20% of your experience came into your hometown and zoinked you and while you once joked that i was the devil now you know

    i think i'm going to need a lot of yoga for the next three weeks

PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
XANDER
 Posted: Jul 18 2015, 09:49 PM
Quote

tiefling bard
Group: Admin
Posts: 1130
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




    so i have managed not to flip out at the office, high five for me

    my manager was, as predicted, salty as hell, and when he did call me in to talk to him he was sure to thoroughly remind me that my new manager is a baby manager that answers to him and that i am not getting away from him, but i just smiled the whole time and tried not to laugh, because who cares??? i win!!! i am the big winner, even if i am going to an office where i'm younger than everyone and everyone will question my right to my position and i will get to spend 2 months acclimatizing to a whole new group of people.

    old boss has taken the liberty of telling everyone back in florida that i am a big winner, as i have received the absolute nicest congratulations texts and calls from everyone. it has been almost five months of bullshit to get to it, but at the end it feels worth it.

    i don't mean to sound like the world's biggest complainer, and i am generally not mopey all the time! i work really hard to try and have "a life worth a story" so to speak - i force myself to go out, to learn how to make friends, to try my hand at some random new skill, to eat better and work out and read self-help books so i can be a little bit better of a person tomorrow. i try obsessively. and i guess because i'm obsessive by nature, i tend to focus intently on my roadblocks until i implode myself or explode the roadblock. now that i have exploded this roadblock, i will either find something else to explode, or implode myself.

    here's to future explosions! here's a panorama of los angeles from my hike to mount hollywood.

    user posted image
PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
XANDER
 Posted: Jul 27 2015, 02:55 AM
Quote

tiefling bard
Group: Admin
Posts: 1130
Joined: 21-February 11

Status: Offline

Awards:




    when you think you have worked out a problem in your head and you're all good and you got this and then you don't

    user posted image

    I THOUGHT I GOT RID OF ALL THE FUCKING BEES IN THIS HOUSE

    nope, here are the rest of the bees, the bees you forgot about, but they didn't forget about you

    on the bright side, i am ridiculously blessed to have good friends that listen patiently as i run around my house catching the bees, getting stung to death, wailing, etc. thank you friends for your patience with the Taming of the Bees: i can only hope that somehow i manage to repay you
PMWebsiteAIMYIMMSN
^
0 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

Topic Options
Pages: (10) 1 2 3 ... Last »
Add Reply
New Topic
New Poll


 


 

AFFILIATES
Shadowplay Roleplay Gateway Fragile Things


skin created by they-go of RCR, CAUTION, they go and wombat designs