barbermonger: a one on one roleplay search forum

WELCOME TO BARBERMONGER
WHAT IS BARBERMONGER?

BARBERMONGER is a site designed to help roleplayers find other roleplayers, specifically one-on-one roleplayers, as opposed to larger roleplay games. Functioning like a pinboard, BARBERMONGER allows users to create advertisements, bump advertisements, and respond to other advertisements, without requiring them to register an account. However, registering an account will allow you to edit your posts, find your own topics, and use the private messaging system.

HELPFUL LINKS:

BARBERMONGER RULES
REGISTER AN ACCOUNT
TODAY'S ACTIVE TOPICS
MEMBERS
SEARCH WITH JCINK
SEARCH WITH GOOGLE
DONATE TO BARBERMONGER



Pages: (2) 1 2  ( Go to first unread post )
Add Reply
New Topic
New Poll

 Thoughts
Poette
 Posted: Apr 6 2016, 03:40 AM
Quote

Member
Group: Members
Posts: 70
Joined: 7-August 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




Everything is a spoiler for those who have the heart to travel but have never been.

  
Today marks my 1 month since leaving US soil, and coincidentally, the first thunderstorm I have experienced in Shanghai.

I am living on the fruit market mangoes right now. I miss food. I do not want to consider what pesticides and pollutants are hidden in my fruit because, god bless, it is the best thing I have eaten in this country and they have guaranteed my business for every day I am here.

This week I have:
- celebrated Qingming Festival (Tomb-Sweeping Day) by indulging in store bought Qingtuan (this is essentially a grass dumpling filled with bean paste. welcome to china)
- navigated international medical insurance for a friend
- had my computer go berserk on me
- waited countless times for my VPN to work and my internet to move faster (!!!!)
- discovered Caro Emerald's music and alt-J (∆) Breezeblocks
- removed a used bandaid from the bed frame under my mattress (!!!!!!!!! jesus how long has that been there??????)
- made the conclusion that all the men on reddit are carbon copies of one archetype. message. talk. rinse. repeat.
- stress shopped alone at the mall (this is actually a weekly thing)
- bought honey and paper towels (quality of life greatly improved)
- put batteries in my heater remote so now I have the power to adjust my temperature without taking five minutes of aggravated button pushing yessssss

I am so glad you are wasting what remaining precious time you have left in this world to read this.
PM
^
Poette
 Posted: Apr 9 2016, 11:38 AM
Quote

Member
Group: Members
Posts: 70
Joined: 7-August 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




Revelations~

a straight up MacDonald's burger and fries isn't that different here. as for the rest of the menu I do not know. my friend dragged me in there. I would not have gone in otherwise. I think the food here is just less flavorful (to be fair I probably don't know the best places to eat the cuisine), ergo less addictive, ergo the people are healthier here. or y'know, they are just in better shape and don't eat constantly.

you do not see many overweight people in Shanghai. people walk everywhere. probably because if you get behind the driver's seat you are putting your life at risk for driving on roads that have no rules. the incessant honking which I hear permeates through all big cities is near constant. people drift in and out of lanes. if your car stops moving someone will honk at you. if your car moves into someone's lane someone will honk at you. if you are anywhere near in front of a car they will honk at you. the flow of traffic is pretty good overall, I think. but god help you catch a taxi at rush hour. and really, sitting in the taxi is also kind of a strange experience of trusting your driver not to drive into the side of another vehicle when 'merging' lanes.

Shanghai feels very familiar although I have never been to China and I have never lived in a real city of any significant proportions. the metro is quite efficient and easy to navigate even if you know zero Chinese. it's one of the few places in the city that makes me feel calm and at peace with the world. not at rush hour god no. at rush hour you are wedged in like a sardine. but at night time or an off day afternoon, you have your space and the view of the city and there is something magical about seeing the world from the perspective of a moving vehicle. you are a cog in the machine. it still holds magic for me to see the tall buildings, people's laundry hanging out to dry (they have no dryers here) in all the rooms from afar. it's really just nice. I don't feel like a foreigner on the metro.
PM
^
Poette
 Posted: Apr 18 2016, 04:12 AM
Quote

Member
Group: Members
Posts: 70
Joined: 7-August 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




Beginning of last week: fantastic!! highlight of my life here
End of last week: what hell am I living in??

That about sums up everything I want to say. Sometimes we don't want to talk about the bad. Like you just want to laugh it off with everyone you know while inside you die a little to cope with what is happening around you. This is how we survive.
PM
^
Poette
 Posted: Apr 26 2016, 04:06 AM
Quote

Member
Group: Members
Posts: 70
Joined: 7-August 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




it is rainy here after a long weekend out and about the great populous city I inhabit. everyone is having a sleepy day, which is definitely needed.

the Chinese girls feel I am more Chinese than American (or most similar to them compared to the others here).

i was very homesick for a few weeks here. sometimes you just get tired of what you can't have here-- or the people that surround you can get old. and when i get sad i tend to shop my feelings, which is a bad thing.

i miss hugs. my Chinese friends hug me here but the American ones do not. they are very warm people. i spent the whole weekend laughing. it's the first time in roughly two months that i have been so joyful and carefree.

i still miss home. all i want to do is sleep all day. i don't know what i will do when i go back home and life is not so constantly busy and filled with activity. this life is nothing like the one i left.
PM
^
Poette
 Posted: Apr 27 2016, 05:56 AM
Quote

Member
Group: Members
Posts: 70
Joined: 7-August 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




Today I ((accidentally)) ordered literally a fried stick of rice at the local University canteen.

Am often bewildered and perturbed by the copious amounts of sauce and grease that permeate the cuisine here. You might as well call half of the entrees soup with how much liquid it sits in.

I feel worse after eating. What have I done.

Actually, though, I've had quite a few things I enjoy, as well as just sampling oddities like flavored chips or glutinous rice stuffed with bean paste, etc. The eel is quite good, and lotus root stuffed with rice and soaked in honey is tasty. 'Dumplings' are good but I haven't had any that overwhelm me with flavor-- maybe the crab and pork soup dumplings but next time I won't eat them when they are boiling hot and burn the whole inside of my mouth. A good portion of the food is spicier than I anticipate and for about a week it seemed like I was constantly encountering hell fire in a bowl of noodles or meat. x.x But that, too, has passed.

I don't notice the smells that initially repulsed me as much anymore. I suppose that means I've acclimated to my surroundings at last? Honestly, it's weird and slightly unsettling.

The effect of pollution is still noticeable after a few heavy days out and about. Always need a day or two off to shake it off.

My family commented that I will be bored when I return back to the States. Probably. Shanghai is enormous and there is more than enough to do here. Whereas I have exhausted my hometown of its interest. I think I could spend a few years traveling on-and-off. It's nice meeting people and belonging to no where in particular, being a drifter. On the other hand, there are days and weeks where it feels like it will never end... and then there's the topic of maintaining connection with those close to you. If you don't miss them, does that say something? Is it worse to miss someone too little-- or too much?
PM
^
Poette
 Posted: May 1 2016, 07:52 AM
Quote

Member
Group: Members
Posts: 70
Joined: 7-August 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




Update: have found dumpling** nirvana.
  
**to be more precise, there are so many variations of 'dumplings' that Chinese has many words for what English classifies under the sum word of dumpling. It's a little more colorful and rich.

Also despite being told that American Chinese food is not Chinese food, I think you just have to experience it to understand in what sense. The Japanese food here, though, is actually reminiscent of flavors I've had at some restaurants at home. Not the same but similar enough to warrant noting. It's like in America I had a slice of it, whereas here I have a bigger piece of the pie of flavors. I mean, I can only suspect seeing as I've never made it to Japan for actual culinary comparison.

I really like who I am here. It took quite a bit of time to get to that point, but I feel and believe it. I've had some really good days in China recently, which obviously helps to bolster that feeling. It's hard to explain, but I guess one way to put it is that I've found where I fit, in a way. And I've never really found where I fit before.

It's nice to like yourself, you know? You deserve it.
PM
^
Poette
 Posted: May 13 2016, 09:07 AM
Quote

Member
Group: Members
Posts: 70
Joined: 7-August 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




Current level of Mandarin: good enough to communicate adequately with shopkeepers/servers, bad enough that when they reply with anything outside of yes or no that cannot be conveyed in supplementing gestures, I'm absolutely lost. On one hand it feels good to express myself and be understood, on the other hand ... thank god for gestures, right? It's a beautiful thing speaking with both body and mind-- it has to be, or else I'm navigating a nation with no understanding whatsoever.

Despite all cultures being different in their own ways, our inherent humanity is really a lovely bond to share amongst our species (duh).


...I'm sick right now. I miss people at home.

The number of students with me here who bulk at the idea of eating anything out of their "Western norm" is disappointingly high. I get we are all food picky-- but don't pout and whine and get into useless arguments because someone eats something you are uncomfortable with. It's okay to try things like 'ox belly' or 'chicken feet' -- it's more efficient to use most parts of the meat. And if you have an issue with meat consumption in general, then yeah, no matter what animal is, you're going to find it repulsive. I dunno-- it's all nutrients or protein or fat. It's edible. You have to accept that people will try and eat things you're not accustomed to-- especially when visiting a foreign country or even a different culture. The politics of food aside-- and yes, one could delve into that for endless hours, I've enjoyed sampling a few things one does not (normally) eat at home.

   I'm over people acting like children (in the midst of undergoing puberty) or playing into shock value behavior.
PM
^
Poette
 Posted: May 16 2016, 11:27 AM
Quote

Member
Group: Members
Posts: 70
Joined: 7-August 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




Disappointed.
PM
^
Poette
 Posted: May 19 2016, 05:14 AM
Quote

Member
Group: Members
Posts: 70
Joined: 7-August 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




Did I mentioned 9 times out of 10 the thing you buy at the store is way beyond its expiration date? Oh, you haven't been checking? How on earth could I forgot to check? This stomachache is on me and my carelessness. Die quietly in the corner wondering how this is such a widespread phenomenon.

Think you're drinking real alcohol during a night out? What's that, you've had three shots and feel a lot better than you usually do? Maybe you even feel nothing. How can that be? What on earth could this be cut with because water certainly isn't potable here???

Visit the fruit market at night time-- what's that, the fruit market shopkeeper puts down his phone. Yep, that's definitely porn. Well at least it doesn't look like you. Because that would make it creepy, right? Ignore it. Buy your fruit. Never forget.

In the meanwhile, win this week's star for being a great long distance girlfriend. How are things so good right now???

If you come to China-- first of all, you're likely to use a travel agency to transport you around, second of all, have low expectations for the quality of the restaurants included in the travel package. Bad Chinese food is indeed bad. And man oh man when you're gone for a few days and all your meals except breakfast look and taste the same... You dread meal time. Because you simply don't want to eat it.

But-- there's something sentimental creeping in when you're on a tour bus seeing the sights of the country and its people. You wish you had come for vacation and not a study abroad. You're disappointed in a complex assortment of things, including yourself and others. Sure, there were nice parts and bad parts. But god, it's getting to that point where you count down the weeks and mentally prepare for packing. It's just a long time, and it's tiresome being stuck in the same situation for this amount of time without change. You think-- you would love the people and the freedom if it wasn't all encapsulated in the program.

There's something deeply odd about a country with so many strange t-shirts in poor English. Why? Why?

You laugh when your mom calls you up to let you know she looked up your hotel and wants to tell you that there might not be toilet paper. After 70-some days here, you've come to expect that no one will provide toilet paper, and that if they do, it is a luxury not a given. That's nice, you think, that your mom wants to inform you of something that hadn't even crossed your mind in the first place. Providing toilet paper? Who does that? Actually nice restaurants and facilities will provide it, but it's a non-issue the same way you don't expect the water to be potable unless it is boiled or bottled (and if today was any indication-- even bottled water can have something wrong with it).

Sometimes I laugh about it. I mean, you have to laugh about it, you know? The same way you laugh about this country's obsession with milk products but almost total avoidance of cheese. On a more serious note, I acknowledge that the poverty in China is a real, serious issue. To overlook this is to be blind to the deeper issues at play here. So many things I've treated as basic, everyday facets of life are examples of true luxury. That my shower has hot water or the water is safe to drink or that I don't have to carry around tissue paper and napkins for any emergency. It's weird, it's really weird and I just don't know how to express it. I think there's a great difference between the talk of theory and the expression of living it. It's not that you were ignorant of the situation, but you acclimate and you see and experience first-hand how one manages and gets by.

It's selfish to say that I feel I've stayed too long. Or conversely, not long enough to learn the language beyond the economy of buying goods. 'How much is this? I want this one. You have this in blue? Too expensive, lower the price. Thank you. Is this milk?'

Language is a beautiful thing. Really. I feel one of the biggest disservices to my education was not learning a second language earlier on. And when I took French the first time I fell in love with it. It's mathematical; it's poetical. I haven't taken enough Mandarin to go beyond what is taught in the classroom and that frustrates me. I'm here. I should be able to expand my abilities. I want to learn. I want to practice. I know enough to be replied to in Chinese with the implication that what I said was coherent but not enough to know the full content of their response. There's nothing like saying something and being laughed at, either. Did I say it wrong? Did I say it funny? Did I use the wrong tone and say something entirely different? meh.

My feelings are very mixed and I fear this blog comes out more negative than positive and I don't want it to be that way. In the end I'm sure I will look back and feel this was overall a worthwhile experience and something of a growth opportunity, but oddly I can't help feeling like not much of myself has actually changed. I've learned I am more flexible and adaptive to situations than I thought, and less bewildered than I imagined. It's just a long time and the things that felt old weeks ago and now ancient.
PM
^
Poette
 Posted: May 25 2016, 11:50 PM
Quote

Member
Group: Members
Posts: 70
Joined: 7-August 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




It's humid today in Shanghai and rainy-ish. It feels suffocating to go outside and your skin has that repulsive film of sweat and humidity that you can't remove.

My best memories here have been because of the people-- aside from climbing the Great Wall, which was more of a physical high than anything else. I wish I could come to a point where I enjoy being by myself and finding self-enlightment in my own existence but that's not me. I thrive on sharing my joy with others-- with laughing, with being accepted, with discussing culture and life with others.

I wish I was born with some inherent 'joie de vivre carpe diem gung ho' philosophy but that's not me. I'm not the woman others seek out for a good time-- a carefree party girl. I operate with caution, prudence. People come to me looking for help or guidance. I'm reliable; I'm caring; I operate with a practical mind. And it is hard to deviate from what others initially perceive of me.

But I think if people don't give you the chance, two things happen:
1. They cannot learn to appreciate you; they don't see the real you -- your sense of humor, your personality, etc.
2. They don't allow you the ability to change or grow; they believe you are incapable of being anything but what their first impression tells them.

And they don't want to. And it's okay. I've never wanted to be idolized or adored in a fanatic way. I'd rather have genuine relationships with people rather than a superficial gang-mentality posse.

but-- sometimes it gets lonely. and you have to learn to be okay with yourself, because you are the one constant element in your life. everything can change-- the people, the place, but you carry yourself with you as you navigate the world. It's difficult. It really is.
PM
^
Poette
 Posted: Jun 7 2016, 06:53 AM
Quote

Member
Group: Members
Posts: 70
Joined: 7-August 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




The older I get, the uglier the world becomes.

You can experience the kindness of a person or nation in one moment and the terror and ire of it in the next. You can find yourself getting lost and finding your way. You can make so many u-turns on the same street, never quite finding where you need to be. Someone can change the entire flow of your day or night. You can find yourself holding on for dear life, thinking how did it come this? Was I so naive to believe? Will I make it back alive? A stranger can be the best form of safety while someone you thought you knew was your biggest danger. You can wonder time after time if someone is really watching over you, guarding you as you fumble through a world of darkness. Everything can work out, even when the trajectory it took was not the one you could ever have foreseen.

You can wonder how angels wear the skin of devils and monsters inhabit the flesh of man. You can be in a sea of faces more safe than with a nation of friends. You can disconnect. You can find yourself clutching your stomach and spitting out a bite of food because you simply cannot continue. Maybe you think to yourself that nothing has prepared you for this but everyone has warned you, but you expected it never to happen to you.

You can cry but the tears are nothing but a punctuated post-reaction. You can still question whether a day was real or not, or whether you'll ever make it home again. You can question whether home will feel the same when you return, or if it's you that can never be the same. There's a reason you write about it but not of it, because it still doesn't feel real. Not in the same way the city didn't feel real when you first arrived, but in the way that your life begins to not feel real. Some of the stories don't fit who you are but they're what really happened. Most of the time it is better not to bring your expectations with you. When was the last time anything happened like you thought it would?

It's less than a month but you laugh. Did any of it ever make sense? Did you think that you belonged anywhere? Did you ever see yourself putting full trust in another you barely knew twice in a week? Did you ever learn the value of using their language to navigate around, and yet find that you lose yourself in a voice that you have no control over? Do you wonder whose perception was wrong, his or yours? Does it even matter?

You find comfort in the stairs, in the long stretches of road, weaving through the maze of people and mopeds. If you keep going, you think you can outrun what you escaped, what shrouds you? With every step you get stronger physically, but with each mile you know you know nothing. You should have listened to the others; instead they listen to you late in the night recount the stories.

Man oh man I am ready to be home. I don't know whether to laugh or cry after a moment, so I often do both. Maybe that's the beauty of nature. That you can find relief in danger, and danger in safety. Or is it all just my perception?
PM
^
Poette
 Posted: Jun 11 2016, 09:55 AM
Quote

Member
Group: Members
Posts: 70
Joined: 7-August 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




I'm going to be leaving a country I haven't even begun to understand. I've experienced high highs and low lows and I don't know what I think or feel. What has this taught me about myself? Where do I go from here? There is simply so much that I don't understand. but I feel this is a natural course to be taken in this situation...
PM
^
Poette
 Posted: Jul 24 2016, 04:52 PM
Quote

Member
Group: Members
Posts: 70
Joined: 7-August 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




Home.

I've been dwelling on blogs and their role in our society. Public journals, PSAs, ego-stroking, emotional dumping, what-have-you making '(probably) publicly read' writers out of anyone who chooses to write. From experience, those who don't write will ask someone who self-identifies as a writer, what they write, have they published anything, can they read something?. Valid.

Where do we draw the line between self-definition and societal occupation? I said writers, not necessarily good writers or professional writers. Maybe blogs don't make writers the way traditional notebook journals or diaries don't make writers. They're just scribbles that could be read for literary analysis or not-- meh it really doesn't matter, does it? I'm sure there are academics out there who have defined an official term and academics that have created a philosophical debate over whether official definitions have merits or can be broadened.

There is a reason I never pursued an English or Creative Writing degree. Writing is a hobby of mine, one that in the past I thought I might make into an occupation-- to be published somewhere important and well-read and respected. But on the other hand, ...ehhh I acknowledged that maybe I never loved writing enough to really do that. I don't think it's a matter of good enough or not, but commitment (for me, anyways; maybe that comes off as egotistical, but I think 'bad' writers can still appeal to people and trashy novels can still make money, so quality is not the factor).

I learned a decent amount about myself in China. It also reinforced the parts of me that have always held true. In the end, I can say that I felt good about myself and the decisions and goals I had. It's healthy to support yourself. It's really good to give yourself positive reinforcement-- because you do deserve it.

I'm working on things now that I've returned. I am a work in progress. So are you (whoever you may be, reading this, hahaha). That's my update.

Oh, in the meanwhile, I do miss having someone on a messenger to bounce around thoughts with, but it's not a big deal. Just something nice to have.
PM
^
Poette
 Posted: Aug 8 2016, 01:55 AM
Quote

Member
Group: Members
Posts: 70
Joined: 7-August 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




I found my high school bucket list while going through a massive amount of old paperwork today.

On the list:
Visit a country in Asia.
Live outside of the US for an extended period of time.

...

I have to admit, it was deeply satisfying and self-validating to realize out of 5 things, I had already accomplished 2 of them. If you're curious what else was on the list, well, getting published was on there (v. original, BM). And 2 other things that I had put on there just to finish the assignment.
PM
^
Poette
 Posted: Sep 13 2016, 06:34 PM
Quote

Member
Group: Members
Posts: 70
Joined: 7-August 14

Status: Offline

Awards:




You really have to question what someone wants from you.

A friend from middle school (who I haven't talked to since middle school more or less, was an unanswered pending friend request that I left in limbo) contacted me about a job on fb. The curiosity in me humored her, but the lack of details cut the interaction short. I suppose there are some trusting people who would more readily entertain someone, and others who would have ignored it entirely.

It seems suspicious first of all, and only a reinforcement when further details are sparse. Maybe it is a scam, maybe it is legitimate, maybe she's bad at this, maybe it's not her. How bored does someone have to be to entertain this? It's just weird.







I really don't care for people.
-.-







A habit I have developed since China is that I now put dried fruit into hot water (or tea) to make a form of fruit tea. I'm not sure why -- it's not something someone taught me to do in China, I think I mostly got bored of eating dried cranberries and curious about putting dried orange peel into hot water. I also started drinking hot water mixed with orange juice to make hot or warm orange juice. When you're sick, it feels more pleasant on your throat than cold oj. At least to me. I'm not sure some people could get over that being strange, but hey, I didn't go to China because I wanted to stay in my comfort zone. That being said, I haven't had hot orange juice at home, though I also haven't been really sick since China.

In China, since water is not generally potable, a lot of restaurants will boil it and serve it hot (or in unfortunate situations, lukewarm) to you. I actually prefer drinking warm or hot water to cold water. Even in the summertime.
PM
^
0 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

Topic Options
Pages: (2) 1 2 
Add Reply
New Topic
New Poll


 


 

AFFILIATES
Shadowplay Roleplay Gateway Fragile Things


skin created by they-go of RCR, CAUTION, they go and wombat designs