GemShep doesn't have a custom title currently.
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Joined: 22-April 16
Last Seen: Jul 22 2016, 09:02 PM
Local Time: Aug 15 2018, 12:35 PM
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Apr 25 2016, 02:59 PM
You’re a week out from finals. You’ve finally convinced those around you that yes, you might have a problem. You’re irritable, you can't focus. The entire semester has been hell on earth for you and you know you should’ve done less while working, but you didn’t. You’re the sort of person who wants to do everything and do it right.
The person that is sub-par and self-aware enough to realize it. Sentient dirt.
(I mean that, of course, in jest.)
Approximately six days ago you were diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. There were no tears, no big revelations that came with finally having a name for what you feel. It's all chemicals to you, so instead you shrugged, nodded, and said, sounds about right.
Not that you didn't know prior to the visit. You knew, you knew because you tried to cure it yourself but you couldn't.
You could wank, of course, but there’s little satisfaction. Sex never brought you much to begin with, so that’s out of the question. You tried self-medicating. 5-HTP! St. Johns Wort! Valarian Root! All over the counter and self-help guru approved! But it all left you feeling tired, drizzled out, bored. It didn’t help you focus on the two things that are important to you anymore, nor did it help cinch for you how essential it is to time-manage yourself.
So she wrote down Wellbutrin and slapped it on the proverbial fax machine.
“It can cause weight loss, you might not sleep well.”
As it is you got too much sleep. Constantly desiring it, shutting out the world and whatever demons came in. It wasn’t personal demons, either. No little voices that said you weren’t worth it, nor up to snuff. Just little things that crept into your mind, like, oh, if you don’t do this, the consequences would be bad, but, really, who cares. The demons didn't bring you down, they simply made tea for your apathetic ass.
It was the apathy that scared you.
The first day you felt buzzing. Wellbutrin can cause that, buzzing. You sat in the computer lab at your university, all too aware you needed to submit your timesheets and work, too. You couldn’t focus, somewhere in the lines of what you were writing and what you were capable of there were mixed signals and the very idea of trying to study with another human as though it would keep you on track was awful. A horrible idea.
But she did say day one meant nothing. It would take, on average, a week or two to begin to even feel its affects.
But you knew right away it was working when you tried to lie down that night and couldn’t rest, and when you had your first dream after ages of not dreaming. It was horror, filled with death and decay and you waved at it because it was an old friend.
Because they were your only friends.
Apr 22 2016, 09:24 PM
First and foremost, I have a website:
Feel free to cruise along there. It's got everything listed, but you'll notice a distinct lack of plots...
...because currently I cannot think of any.
Which is where you come in! Hurray!
I am a fairly open role-player. I like many things, I like to plan them out, and I like to have fun. I will note that i tend to be kind of wordy in comparison to many other casual players, so if you don't like a person who writes a few paragraphs per post then I may not be the choice for you!
My website has all my details, including my contact information. To make it simple, however, my e-mail is:
And you can also add me on Hangouts. I don't use anything else to chat on -- sorry!
** My pairings are: M/M, M/F, F/F, F/FTM, F/MTF, M/FTM, M/MTF (that is to say, all and everything under the sun, including non-binary, etc.,)
See most recent bump for a plot!