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BARBERMONGER is a site designed to help roleplayers find other roleplayers, specifically one-on-one roleplayers, as opposed to larger roleplay games. Functioning like a pinboard, BARBERMONGER allows users to create advertisements, bump advertisements, and respond to other advertisements, without requiring them to register an account. However, registering an account will allow you to edit your posts, find your own topics, and use the private messaging system.
Posted: Jun 18 2018, 06:48 PM
Joined: 5-June 18
Site: THE TEDISON PROJECT
DEAR PARTICIPANT, CONGRATULATIONS!
This message is to inform you that you have been selected via a series of highly complex selection algorithms for participation in Project TEDISON. TEDISON is so excited to have you! What luck on your part. If you are currently receiving this letter whilst incarcerated or awaiting a sentence, let us just say it a second time: congratulations!
Get ready to leave your taxes, stress, family, and beloved natural sunshine behind for a mandatory all-expenses paid trip. Please rest assured that the details such as: where, when, why, how, what is this about, is this legal, and others have been taken care of and the answers to these questions are as safe as they are confidential. At this time we invite you to relax and look forward to participation; any additional questions you have may be spoken directly into this letter/e-mail/vision.
No further action is required, simply take comfort in the fact that we are coming for you! No matter where you are, our patented transport technology will locate and harvest you when the time comes. So, keep a bag packed and an eye on the skies - and thanks again for your implied cooperation.
(NOTE: TEDISON is not responsible for providing 'adequate' answers to any questions at this or any other time, however the test is good for our microphone equipment)
[&] Sylvia - resident beekeeper and manipulative cult leader. lovingly known as the hive. she means bees-iness. sylvia is charming, calculative, intelligent, and faced by sarah paulson. her goal is to start a new hive on [REDACTED] because humans messed up earth big time. perhaps create a new species of space bees, terrorize the biome with bionic wasps, small hints of murder, a mellified man, and subconscious brainwashing over the television screen are all in the agenda.
a specific character ive had in mind for her is a second in commands of sorts. a male counterpart, her number one male drone. jeffery dean morgan/jeff goldblum are suggested pbs. im thinking he could either be another scientist of sorts, perhaps into the environment or a engineer type, or just a big ole brute who likes to cause chaos. there's a chance for some rare sexual tension, need bee.
[&] Walter - ancient ufo theorist and beloved bill murray! Walter is convinced that [REDACTED] is just a world created by the aliens for all the people they've abducted. And he will stop at nothing to expose the truth! THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE! cue x-files theme music
first off, there's got to be other weirdos out there who believe they were abducted just like him. Some suggested pbs for a posse include donald glover, evan peters, chloe bennett, jake gyllenhal, rashida jones, etc.
second, what's a mulder without his scully? suggested pb is cate blanchett, or any other beautiful elegant foxy woman.
third, the estranged daughter. they haven't seen each other for decades. but on her mother's deathbed she was given lots of letters addressed to her from her father. he never stopped loving her. so she decided to try and find him and ended up on [REDACTED] will it be the warm fuzzy reunion he had always hoped for or just a horsepoop storm of emotion? suggested pbs are elizabeth olsen, emma stone, imogen poots, etc.
[&] Margot - my sassy, anti-social, lunacy infected, peg legged wax enthusiast mortician. obviously played by the lovely aubrey plaza. she doesn't remember a damn thing about her life before [REDACTED]. so she just makes it up as she goes. the human embodiment of a cat, and a pathological liar. she needs some friends to help her through these runny nosed and foggy times.
i am very open to any and all plots thrown her way, especially those revolving around her lunacy state (basically a space sickness that makes you forget everything, eventually it will go away, but she's very vulnerable right now). perhaps a mortuary mentor like winona ryder would snag your interest?
[&] Liesel - my little sunflower. my newborn baby AI, she's missing a lot of code and is prone to malfunctions. but she's sweet and naive and friendly. mentors and manipulators are welcomed!
UP AND COMING CHARACTERS:
[&] ashley moore - a clone who believes she was created from a haitian zombie powder ritual. when in reality she was murdered and her body sold to tedison by the voodoo-ist. rather religious, suspicious, occult, and sexualized.
i dont have any real plot set in stone for her just yet, so i'm very open to ideas!
[&] steven yeun - a clueless detective. he's sweet, goofy, and terrible at his job. hence why he was sent to space on a literal goosechase. who killed his fiancée? spoiler, it was science, and somewhere on [REDACTED] she lives, but as a clone. now whether or not she remembers him is up to you. but im down for love or heartache either way. fairly open pb, though i would suggest a poc.
[&] golshifteh farahani - a shy and soft spoken veterinarian, or other doctor/scientist of sorts. very open with plottage here.
Other Information: i appreciate you taking the time to read through this novella. i clearly like the strange and far out. i like creating complex characters with entertaining relationships. i like bouncing ideas off of one another and going down crazy paths. if anything, i will entertain you with my weirdness. i'm looking for someone who is just a far out and likes to push themselves. bonus points if you like learning something new for your literary craft.
Contact Information: hit me up on discord if any of this entertained you! @nessie#2839 remember to stay weird!