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 lifeblog, shady life choices + introspection
XANDER
 Posted: Dec 9 2015, 01:28 AM
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in today's WORK BLOG, a quote from my current general manager, who is on the verge of becoming my therapist with the intense life wisdom he gives me

QUOTE
You don't have to be a robot. You don't have to be the person with no feelings. You don't have to be impersonal. What you have been in the past and what you are now are not what you have to be. You don't have to be trapped in your own story -- you don't have to be trapped in what you've been. [We two managers] are here because we believe you can change. I believe you can change, [Hate Manager] believes you can change. But you have to believe you can change too. You have to believe in yourself.


almost cried right there with the realization that i have truly been trapped in my own story, that i didn't believe that i could really change. but i don't have to be trapped. i just have to believe

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XANDER
 Posted: Dec 10 2015, 10:46 PM
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quote of the day, while texting old boss best boss about his europe honeymoon

QUOTE
Me: did you successfully creepshot the Sistine Chapel
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XANDER
 Posted: Dec 18 2015, 03:05 AM
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tonight i was walking down the street talking about my acceptance of the selfie stick when this happened
QUOTE

me: like, now you don't have to ask strangers to take your picture
me: and who wants to do that? talk to strangers
random woman: hello can you take our picture
me: yes absolutely
random woman: right after you were talking about not having strangers take pictures
random woman: it's okay, i'll buy you dinner first
me: i'm glad we can get to know each other properly


and then i took her picture with her husband and her two children in front of the grandiose christmas display

the universe deploys side characters for me at will
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XANDER
 Posted: Dec 24 2015, 03:59 AM
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when ur old crush calls u on christmas eve to tell u he misses u

but he way drunk and eating a dozen donuts in a donut shop full of cops @ 3am

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i have literally
the worst romantic taste on the planet

if i like someone you can guarantee that
1. they're damaged
2. they're unstable
3. they're best managed from a distance
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XANDER
 Posted: Jan 3 2016, 02:25 AM
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WHEN IT 2AM AND YOU'RE ON VACATION

AND YOU DECIDE IT A GOOD TIME TO GO CREEP ON AN OLD FORUM

AND PEOPLE BE CLAIMING LIFE-THREATENING ILLNESSES AND SHIT
AND ALSO ASSERTING THAT THEY ARE EXPERIENCING EVENTS IN REAL LIFE YOU KNOW THEY ROLEPLAYED

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the thing with pathological liars is that once you know they are liars you have to doubt every word they say and there can be no pity for them from any angle

and this is why you don't creep on people, kids
because you get high off the nostalgia and you stare deep into the abyss and it looks back into you
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XANDER
 Posted: Jan 4 2016, 12:51 AM
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today i saw old boss best boss and we played air hockey

how nice, i hear you thinking, that sounds relatively normal. yeah, okay, except
1. i look about 15-18 to most adults (i'm 25)
2. he brought all three of his kids

because i live in bizarro world, i just accept at face value that old boss will either bring along (a) his wife (b) his kids or © both if he sees me outside work, like a bunch of human shields, to prevent me (us???) from doing anything particularly stupid, or at least nothing more stupid than playing pachinko and shaking the "play 'til you win" claw machine

and now the experience, in bullet points
  • i beat old boss at air hockey
  • i was locked into a tie with his daughter because the machine shut off because our game was so long/intense
  • one of the sons recognized me on my way in when he was running back out to the car
  • child you have seen me ONE OTHER TIME, 10 MONTHS AGO, AM I THAT DISTINCT
  • old boss talked a lot about work and his work plans and promotion plans
  • every time i stood a little close to him he would very carefully step just a little to the side and then reorient himself facing me
  • he told me that if i ever want to move back to florida / anywhere else, let him know, he will make it happen
  • in 1 year 10 months of knowing this guy, max physical contact has been two (2) hugs, both today
  • this guy is the absolute nicest person to me and apparently wants nothing more than for me to conquer the world and kick it in the teeth
  • and also listen to all his stories i guess, which is cool, sweet deal
i wish all of you readers a world where you find your own sensei, because even though sensei feelings are confusing (am i in love with this guy??? am i just in love with selfless acts that flatter my sense of self???), they are ultimately like standing in a patch of warm sunlight and you feel like a whole and valid person (for 3 hours, until you finish spending your $35 arcade credit), and it is grand
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XANDER
 Posted: Jan 11 2016, 10:40 PM
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soooooOOOOO

like a month ago the boyfriend had a Meltdown and was like We Should Break Up and i put on my party hat labeled "good relationship decisions" and barrel rolled all the day down the steep hill that my house sits on

and then i ran back up and was like "we're not talking for a month"
and i was subjected to the incredibly surreal experience of being the opposing party in an argument with my own roleplay character
it was like arguing WITH MYSELF i.e. i was writing both myself and the counter-arguments to my arguments and i could not even get worked up past a certain point because ?????? VERY CLEVER PLOYS HERE, VERY BULLSHIT, MUCH WOW

well my 1 month period of peace and quiet is up tomorrow
and i be like

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if he is true to roleplay character form i am walking right into Hurricane Let's Be Friends With Benefits

you will not win ex-boyfriend
you are just going to go back to driving me around and buying me breakfast
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XANDER
 Posted: Jan 13 2016, 01:58 AM
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i forgot that the key part of dealing with your own roleplay character is that you are dealing with a parody of yourself
like this man is some sort of god-inflicted satire of every piece of emotional manipulation i have ever written, which makes him 1) very easy to talk to and 2) quickly triggers mental screaming afterwards

so no, of course there was never going to be an overt FWB ploy
no
that is not
roleplay enough
there's going to be a bunch of "i missed you" and "i counted all the days" and "i've been all alone" and "i drank a lot, way too much, but i've stopped now" and "of course we can just be friends" and "i was alone on christmas day, but that was my choice" and "i didn't call to talk about me" and "thank you for taking my call"

but sasha, you say, what if he means it

PROBABILITY APPROACHES ZERO
the only reason people who think this highly of themselves engage in humble acts is a sort of inception-level vanity and an acute understanding of how you actually lure people back into your drama orbit

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but i am dumb
i am bored
i will
play the game

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XANDER
 Posted: Jan 15 2016, 01:53 AM
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it has been one (1) day since i started talking to ex boyfriend
shit i have said
  • you are a narcissist with low empathy
  • you are having a mid-life crisis
  • you have probably never loved anyone ever
  • you need a therapist
  • did you buy real sheets? your life is a mess and you are not a real adult
  • hot men are assholes and you are an asshole
  • you can probably get away with never changing yourself
  • you owe me waffles for all of these quality observations
he was like "yeah i can get you the waffles"

bonus edit
QUOTE

me: i knew all of this and dated you anyways
me: i had hoped you were not full of shit
me: we all make mistakes
him: i'm not full of shit
me: oh yes you are
him: okay i guess i'm full of shit
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XANDER
 Posted: Jan 20 2016, 12:42 PM
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didn't get my waffles, got sushi

while philosophizing over self-actualization over dragon roll, ex stops me

QUOTE

ex: you really need to become a writer
me: (i am a writer i am writing this hilarious life)
me: ok i can quit my job and dedicate myself to that but you have to let me move in with you and support my lifestyle
ex: i don't think i have that kind of money
me: i'm not THAT expensive


but on a serious note, i am always very touched when people make positive comments on my literary-ness / literary skill / "you should write a book" -- it is probably because of these people that i will eventually do so, and less to do with my own internal motivations (low)

side note: i just reread that conversation and realized that objection #1 was "money" and not "what a terrible idea stupid"

HMM
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XANDER
 Posted: Jan 25 2016, 12:54 AM
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more greatest hits quotes to my ex-boyfriend

QUOTE
me: you are like a murderer who doesn't believe in stealing


QUOTE
me: you're just a run-of-the-mill garden variety asshole


QUOTE
me: your life isn't going to magically change just because you go to an open mic night and drink apple cider


QUOTE
me: are we finishing inuyasha
him: well i'm on like episode 60 in season 3
him: i needed something to do on our break


can't commit to a relationship but can commit to an anime from 2000
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XANDER
 Posted: Jan 26 2016, 11:06 AM
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QUOTE
"You're more emotional than you think you are. You've wrapped your emotions in this armor of logic and told yourself they're not emotions."


QUOTE
"I don't think of my strength as a blessing: it is my challenge. Other people aren't strong like we are. I think part of my purpose is to be kind to other people and help them."

Why is it always us? Why don't they deserve to be comfortable?

"Because we are supposed to love one another."


ACTUAL WORDS SAID TO ME WHEN I AM TAKEN ASIDE TO DISCUSS MY CAREER DEVELOPMENT

I WORK IN A CAR DEALERSHIP
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XANDER
 Posted: Feb 13 2016, 01:36 AM
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are you tired of hearing about MY LIFE AT A CAR DEALERSHIP??? I HOPE NOT

i have officially reached Defcon 1 levels of Need Improvement. why, you ask?

1. i am not a "team player"
  • because the one day i am scheduled to leave early i want to leave relatively on time SINCE EVERYONE ELSE DOES THE SAME THING
2. i am not humble
  • since i was promoted i have taken unpopular stances... and won at them
so on wednesday i did it, i left only 30 minutes late, and everyone stayed later, AND THAT WAS IT. THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW. (ALSO, I ARGUED ABOUT NOTATING CALLS DIFFERENTLY. I TURNED OUT TO BE RIGHT ABOUT THIS TOO.) i was threatened with demotion if i did not put my head down and shut up and stop pissing people off, immediately. i have already started questioning how much i want to stay at this job -- i'm considering leaving it this year -- but i do not want to go out like this. i would rather leave as a popular figure, who is recognized for changes. (i want to be missed.)

moreover, it's not even just ME PEACEING OUT that bugs me -- i could live with that! no friends, i am worried about Old Boss's Reputation, because he has invested almost 2 years in this swathe of havoc i am creating. i do not want him associated with this black spot of 'Well remember Sasha? You said she was great and she turned out to be NUTS.' i have to turn the titanic around BECAUSE SENPAI NOTICED ME.

predictably in my DESPAIR i texted him

and he said

QUOTE
You've got a special place in my heart, so I'll always be here. Hell or high water.


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somehow i have to convince everyone at my current office to stop hating me
using the inspiration that there is one person on the other side of the country that loves me

SOUNDS RIGHT UP MY ALLEY
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XANDER
 Posted: Feb 15 2016, 12:29 AM
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valentine's day is a great day to miss the ex who doesn't talk to you anymore

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XANDER
 Posted: Feb 20 2016, 11:12 AM
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on a scale of 1-10 how genius is it to whine to your one ex about your other ex

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the universe continues to troll me by being like
"ok but what if he always pays when u go out and he sends u really nice texts and is concerned 4 ur well being and he watches ur animes but ur not dating ok? ok"
OK

i finally got the picture of us from his work christmas party and my mom said
"i don't know how he could look at that picture and not want to spend all his time with you"

my dad's quote was
"he's a big guy"
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