barbermonger: a one on one roleplay search forum

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BARBERMONGER is a site designed to help roleplayers find other roleplayers, specifically one-on-one roleplayers, as opposed to larger roleplay games. Functioning like a pinboard, BARBERMONGER allows users to create advertisements, bump advertisements, and respond to other advertisements, without requiring them to register an account. However, registering an account will allow you to edit your posts, find your own topics, and use the private messaging system.

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gist

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May 6 2018, 12:44 PM
Yesterday, something (ngl it was the tequila) stirred up just the right combination of nostalgia, melancholy, and regret in me to make the thought of returning to some one-on-ones that never got off the ground the way I wanted seem like an inspired idea. So I'm putting a few of the old apocalypses, possessions, old gods, and deep-dark-secrets out there for possible adoption. I mean the hard work is already done: setting, basic plot foundation, my character(s), even the first post -- so hello, no back-and-forth about who's going to start. All I'm missing is the brilliant partner to fill in the gaps with their own character(s) and concepts, which I guess is where you (hypocrite lecteur!—mon semblable,—mon frère!) come in.

Options (links go right to google docs, nothing shady):


1. Present-day Warsaw; Elijah/Lamb: unwitting changeling boy from America searching for the threads of long-forgotten childhood nightmares in the weird mythology of street children.

2. The fictional metropolis of Vineta, Oklahoma; present day: An ancient deity of attrition has woken up at the top of a residential skyscraper in the body of a woman who resents its presence.

3. Post Gold-Rush Alaska: London-born Tom Adler, most recently a soldier in the Spanish-American War, receives a letter from his former mentor summoning him to Jamestown, where a missing child has been found and strange events seem to be unfolding.

4. Russia, late 1800's: Matvei Valerievich Tsivilko has taken up residence in his eccentric cousin Ariadna's overgrown country estate in a bid to escape his last failed attempt at enlightenment -- and to muffle a familiar voice in his head that is growing louder by the day.

5. Bombay, 1661: Basingborne, exiled English rake, woos the daughter of his Parsi trader friend and grapples with what may or may not be a Zoroastrian demon living in a fishing-village girl he recently brought in as hired help.

6. Rabat, undefined near-future: two results of a decades-long experiment involving an ancient virus that causes the parthenogenic births of godlike children are let loose in the twisting streets of a war-ruined city.

Want to talk? About what these were, what they could be? I can be reached via PM here or Gmail/hangouts: getinkshedtears (@ gmail, you know ...).

I have a multitude of biographical stuff scattered all over the internet, including on this board, and I can link you to any of them if your attention has been caught but you want to know more about me, my habits, and my expectations. For now, on account of it being a lazy Sunday, I'm just going to let the posts speak for themselves and see if I get any bites.
Apr 4 2018, 07:53 PM
**CAVEAT** I have come looking for people to plot complicated, interesting stories with me on a small supernatural/horror forum set in 1928 Hollywood. This is because I tend to be happier and write better in a tight one-on-one dynamic than when I smear myself randomly all over a board. Gnothi seauton, bbs. It’s a no-pressure, no-word count, sandboxy environment, and you would be welcome to treat the endeavor in a one-on-one fashion and not engage with the larger community. If you read this through and want to hit me up for endeavors unrelated to this goal, please be especially awesome -- I hesitate to open myself up to unrelated things for fear of becoming post-overwhelmed. That said ...



Step 1: Determine your unique value proposition


As the owner of an English degree from a fine Midwestern ivory tower, I can offer you the exciting opportunity to participate in the only activity other than reading in which my overpriced education has ever had any ostensible benefit: writing.

In my 9-5 life, I am a typical office lady who answers phones, sets appointments, pays bills, and makes the occasional origami animal to thrill and astonish. My non-work time is spent on a combination of drinking, trying to find good restaurants, going to concerts and stupid festivals, taking photos, and binging foreign TV on Netflix – and I will be more than happy to regale you with stories of all of these activities, a fact which may or may not add even more value to my proposition.




Step 2: Find out how others see you


Results from a poll taken of gist’s associates old and new (the results of this survey are accurate at the 95% confidence level plus or minus 95 percentage points):
QUOTE
If you could use one word to describe gist, what would that word be?


  • #1 – Intimidating

  • #2 - Delightful

  • #3 - Who?





Step 3: Identify your goals, be specific and objective


Working from the outside in:

Many details discussed at length beforehand. Long-term expectations. Carefully-characterized backdrops. Dickensian casts of fascinating, complex people with dense histories and conflicting desires whose interactions help move the story toward some ultimate goal -- ideally some level of cataclysm. Violence, secrets, debauchery, labyrinths, anarchists, cults, betrayals. Bad, tragic, beautiful things happening to bad, tragic, beautiful characters.

Moment of honesty: I am jonesing for heavy nsfw elements (as points to be incorporated into a larger, cohesive plot). While not a requirement, I do dig dark dark stuff, and since the board is self-hosted and therefore free of the strictures of other hosts’ terms of service, it makes for a great sandbox to play around with themes that usually end up on people’s OH HELL NO lists. Bring me your non-con, your dub-con, your non-humans, your incest; I will not bat an eye.

The setting is preordained, which is nice for me because usually I spend months tossing around setting concepts with potential partners. Ill-Dignified is situated in an AU 1928 Hollywood where a set of vague old godpowers associated to the major arcana we know and love is gradually infecting the already-strange landscape with unsettling supernatural phenomena. I have a couple of active characters but would like at least one more, and I would like the next one to come with a plot built in because that’s how I roll. Ergo this post.

There are two concepts I’ve been rolling around in my brain:
  • The rollicking adventures of a serial killer and (unwilling?) accomplice. So many different sorts of characters have the potential to be fascinating here, and I’m not married to any of them yet.
  • Bad people -- crime family? -- exploit someone with useful abilities in an unpleasant way. An exploration of this dynamic, or the dynamic that ensues when the person with useful abilities escapes and plots vengeance.
Or a combination of these things. Or something unrelated. We can discuss.

My characters run the gamut: boys girls men women both neither all none young old ageless naive wise hetero- homo- pan- a- dom sub switch chatty mute polyglot underpowered godlike strangers in strange lands. Best-represented category? Beardos. Troubled grown men with beards of varying length, color, and coverage.

As an aside, stated preferences on potential partners’ parts toward one character type (I only write straight females!/gay males!) or a certain “pairing” -- will influence my opinion of you and your relationship with writing in a negative way.




Step 4: Identify your target audience
  • Adult human beings of any gender but at least 21 years of age. Preferential treatment given to those 25 and over, and special enthusiasm awarded to the 30+ crowd, just because it’s nice to sometimes interact with people who have trod this mortal coil or whatever for as long (or longer) than me.
  • Writers who recognize no differentiation between “writing” and “roleplaying;” who have a strong enough understanding of English grammar, structure, syntax, etc. to know when to break the rules; who reread their posts before hitting submit because it is important to them that not every sentence starts with the same word.
  • People who have noticed that I haven’t offered up too many specific about plots yet and are down with that because they, like I, are looking for partners who want to collaborate from start to finish, and not someone to lead them around by the nose.
  • Beautiful, assertive geniuses who can claim an encyclopedic knowledge of both American presidents and bodies of water (my weakest Jeopardy categories -- together we will make one Ken Jennings), a heart as black as La Brea tar, and an attention span of longer than two weeks.



Step 5: Update your resume


My RP resume lives online. It contains ~6 years of bios and posts, both introductory and not, so anyone who wants to can see what they could be getting into can click the link.




Step 6: Pay attention to the details


Points not touched on in steps 1-5

Mode: Third person, limited perspective 99% of the time, past or present tense, no spliced posts or conversations, foreign dialogue rendered in the original language.

Response length: My posts run 3 paragraphs on average, which I believe to be more words than necessary in more cases than not and a habit worthy of trying to break at some point.

Response time: I’m not the fastest writer, and I don’t do marathon sessions. You’ll rarely get more than one post within 24 hours, and it’s not unusual for me to take a few days to write something up. I have a personal 7-days-max rule that I do my damnedest not to break, though, and I like to think I make up for my tortoise speeds with my staying power. Please pass me by if you know you can’t wait this long.

Communication: Communication is paramount! I find that exchanging PMs or emails work well enough for RP purposes (I have been known to write some mammoth emails), although, if we click, I will chat with you about dumb shit on Hangouts for all time. I am getinkshedtears#5830 on Discord, but it’s inconvenient for me to use, and I will question your judgment if you elect to break the ice using it.




Step 7: Build your own website


See Step 5.




Step 8: Get published


If I thought I had a snowball’s chance of getting published, I wouldn’t be hanging around on websites trying to get strangers to write stories with me.




Step 9: Go offline


About to. If you've read this far and want to chat, PM is fine, and I'm getinkshedtears on nearly all things Google (so getinkshedtears at gmail) -- and almost everywhere else.
Feb 13 2018, 08:11 AM
Ardis Flood, headmistress of the local creepy orphanage, is on a power trip.

As the vessel of the Devil Arcanum, she has recently awakened to a whole spectrum of phenomena relating to entrapment, bondage, control, and temptation. So, naturally, she has begun to exercise her influence on a select few of her wards, locking them in their own minds and occasionally taking their bodies for a spin. It's karmic, really: like the universe is extending her recompense for a childhood stripped of the abundance she deserved. That the process has negative physical and psychic side-effects on those subjected to it is the least of her concerns.

What I would like is for one of Ardis's collection of living dolls to escape Flood House and somehow end up on the doorstep of Maarten Theys, my WWI-traumatized and slightly twisted Flemish expat who serves as choirmaster/custodian at Christ the King Roman Catholic Church. I'm looking to stir up varying levels of discomfort, confusion, interest, protectiveness, and finally a grand adventure the details of which will be determined according to how the first part plays out. Biographical/physical details are almost entirely up to the adopter; my baseline requests are that the character be female, significantly younger than 32 year-old Maarten, and that she be suffering/recovering from effects of her experience that interfere in some way with her ability to communicate/interact with the world. In previous envisionings, she has been rendered aphasic but capable of psychically transmitting abstract soundscapes to Maarten (for reasons that would no longer be valid in this setting, so I won't dig into that here). Something similar is a possibility, but I'm open to other ideas. I dig creativity, and the setting allows for scads of it.

Thematically, I would like for the option of a physical and probably not 100% gentle relationship between Maarten and this character to exist should the plot veer off in that direction -- so please save both of us time and don't take me up on this request if you aren't comfortable with potentially touchy/disturbing/unsettling subject matter, age differences, or if you fade to black. Likewise if you'd be disappointed if that never came up: I like plots that evolve organically as they're written, without too much being predetermined at the onset. I'm looking for a quality writer and a strong collaborator: someone who can plot proactively, who won't be scared off by my plotting proactively, who is in it for the long haul, and who doesn't mind my tortoise-like writing pace. Bonus if you enjoy chatting offside and appreciate dumb playlists and graphics. You'll also need to be at least twenty-one, due to site restrictions.

This request pertains to characters on a self-hosted MyBB forum which is in the final stages of refinement/development. While not exactly private, it's not being advertised, either. We do plan on a more public opening in the near future, but for now, the member base is small and slow-moving -- but excellent. I'll PM the link on request. Likewise, if this has piqued your interest, shoot me a PM. We can move to other chat venues from there.
Sep 18 2017, 06:55 PM
I swung around here the other day for reasons and discovered that it has been almost four years since I posted. And since all signs point to an approaching front of 'replied to everything, nothing else to write' malaise, I thought what the hell. So here's a form ripped without mercy from the RPG-D.

About Me


Alias: Gist

Age: 31

Gender: Juxera (j/k, cisfemale, vagina & sugar/spice, floral-print jumpsuits & 5000 Shu Uemura emails in my spam folder, mundane af nothing to see here)

Personality: I occupy the space where rugged individualism and crippling self-doubt intersect.

About Me: West Coast-born, East Coast-raised, Midwest-ruined. Ask me about small-town Indiana! (Spoiler - there is no Li’l Sebastian.)

While I have managed to convert an overpriced ivory tower education Givling code CR212190 into a gig as an executive assistant/resident Excel guru (yes, O Stalkers, feel free to congratulate me: the long call center nightmare is over), I retain residual English Majory urges to arrange words in pleasing formations and to share the results with another person -- a person who, ideally, enjoys exchanging inane anecdotes, opinions, [drunken] observations on the meaning of life, and video game recommendations.

In writing partners, I appreciate interpersonal communication skills, commitment, and enthusiasm. I’ll respond in kind -- so in kind that won’t be able to get rid of me for years and years and eventually I’ll just be a facet of your everyday life like breathing. While I don’t subscribe to writing “levels,” I do ask that you put effort into your prose, be able to move a plot forward proactively and occasionally introduce new information, and have enough legitimate skill and interestingness that I enjoy reading your posts and look forward to more. tldr be 1) a mature adult and 2) a writer.

((Bonding with Gist tangent My many sources of pleasure include concertgoing, wine, praying mantises, knitting, Dance Moms, and fancy restaurants. My many sources of irritation: snow, chihuahuas, lite beer, polo shirts, trigger warnings, and the ocean.))

Do you like to use messengers to chat? Skype, Discord, AIM, etc. are out for the foreseeable future. But if I enjoy conversing with you, odds are I won’t block you and might even respond to you on Hangouts. Odds get better the more delightful you are.

How long have you been roleplaying? Do you see that Sur there? Me. Before that, many not-Pern-but-really-Pern PBEMs whose petrified footprints might still be dug up on Angelfire and Geocities archives.



About Roleplaying


What is the plot (or plots) that you'd like to play out with someone?

Option A:

Generally, I like original plots that take place in slightly-alternate but not unrecognizable versions of the real world that feature a modicum of the fantastic/supernatural, or just simple weirdness. Historical settings, within the last two or three centuries, are a source of especial enjoyment, although I’m happy to play in the present or the (preferably nearish) future. The word “genre” can be a little limiting, but a mashup of varying levels of horror/adventure/mystery/history/noir/action/surrealism/magical realism most satisfying. I love putting characters who don't know each other in situations where they are forced to interact and watching what happens -- and I'm equally satisfied if what happens is puppy love or loathing, as long as it's engrossing. I prefer to maintain the limited perspective of a single main character while bringing in and killing off handfuls of secondary and tertiary folks. While I appreciate a partner who is willing to write multiple characters, I don't demand it.

Option B:

I’ve wanted to glom onto a board for ages, but the knowledge of what a hassle it will be to stir up anything that resembles a storyline more than a handful of mismatched interactions before the staff gets ennui and everything goes offline is stymieing. I would be delighted if this post reeled in a board buddy: someone who shares my baseline setting preferences (above) and wants to trip the shifting forum landscape fantastic with me, handcrafting bespoke characters to pit against my own handcrafted, bespoke characters in cooperatively-conceived, complex and heart-wrenching plots that burn slow but hot toward the end of a world or of a forum -- after which, beholden only to one another, we set our sights on a fresh target and swoop in to dazzle and confound the populace with our brilliance, ad undas.


How often do you generally post? Short answer: Not often enough.

Expanded answer: Unless it’s been a while and we’ve fallen into a different groove, I’ll post within 3-5 days in general (this doesn’t mean you’ll never hear from me sooner), with a standing commitment to not take longer than 7 days, which I prefer my writing buddies also commit to.

How much do you generally post? Short answer: Too much.

Expanded answer: I average 3 paragraphs/post with intros running longer, but I would love to develop a habit of writing fewer words more often for poppier, more in-your-face threads.

Do you like to write in first person or third person?
Third. [Either past or present tense, limited perspective 99% of the time, no spliced posts or conversations, foreign dialogue rendered as such.]

Who are your favorite playbys (PBs)?
Less recognizable faces (models, musicians, non-US actors) win over Hollywood stars and celebrities.

What playbys (PBs) do you hate? N/A

What rating are you comfortable with? XXX

How do you feel about writing out graphic scenes such as violence, drug use, and sex? Enjoy it, don’t do it often enough. I would like to make a point of including large amounts of all three in whatever we end up with, so I would appreciate any respondents to have, if not zero triggers, squicks, and limits, then a minimum -- and a willingness to cross the lines of good taste from time to time.

Character Examples

Old bios and posts live on my RP page RP page (PS omg I am having to run it on Heroku because A Small Orange, which I pay for, screwed up my heretofore perfectly-functioning Express server somehow; if you know anything about Node and ASO, please hit me up.) Overview: boys girls men women both neither all none young old ageless naive wise hetero- homo- pan- a- dom sub switch chatty mute polyglot underpowered godlike strangers in strange lands.

As an aside, stated preferences toward one character type (I only write straight females!/gay males!) or a certain “pairing” -- will influence my opinion of you and your relationship with writing in a negative way.



Final Statement


How do you want to be contacted? PM here works. Other options: kokkuri-san, semaphore, direct transmission like stand outside my window holding up a flower and wait for me to smile. If you're a guest, you can send an email to (spaceless) get ink shed tears @ gmail.


Anything else?


Be at least 21. And even if you’re 21, I’ll be all ehhhhh; 25+ is even better.

I’m in the mood to geek out -- to make themed playlists with pretentious titles and copyright-infringing photomontages that glorify how our characters’ variations in mood are like the colors of the rainbow. But I’ll only indulge the craving if my partner’s feeling it too, so bonus points awarded if you could get behind some enthusiastic creatortivity.
Aug 20 2013, 04:32 PM
Hello, world.

I am in the throes of one of those vague “I need a new storyline” fits that I go through every few months. It’s a psychosomatic thing by which I avoid finishing extant writing projects, but it can’t be ignored. A recent stretch of forum-browsing has kindled very little enthusiasm on my part. I have usually had better luck overall with one-on-ones anyway, so I’m branching out to parts unknown (that is, this board.) Sifting through the many ads that are already here, I thought I should give prospective collaborators the chance to stumble upon me before I do them. :)

Rather than pounding out a brand-new autobiography, I direct you to this Livejournal that I keep with my stats and quibbles and preferences and samples. So that you don’t waste your time, though, here is a précis: I’m primeval at 26, but you can be as old as you want; I do this for the engrossing stories, for the adventures and the melodrama, not for the love-love or the smuttery (but I do not object to a plot organically reaching those points); with me, it’s original or bust, dark undertones, and fantastic realism; and I am so choosy.

If I've caught your interest and you think we might get along, PMs are welcome. Other contact methods provided at the link.
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