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 real quotes from real life, share the mementos of your day to day
XANDER
 Posted: Mar 14 2012, 09:24 PM
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local advice god
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you know that thing that guy said that one time AND IT WAS GREAT???

tell me about it!!!
no seriously i live for these kinds of things

i will also accept scenarios that involve *actions*
like that time in the coffee shop (U KNO THE 1 ERIK)

share with as much or as little detail as you please, though personally i prefer as much detail as possible

you may also quote yourself

*

i will start with classy things my professor has said to me

QUOTE
professor: you changed your hair color.

me: = 3= mmmm yes
me: i'm glad you noticed~
me: do you like it
me: i mean do you prefer it to the way it was before

professor: ...shouldn't i be -- evaluating your worth -- as a student -- instead of -- evaluating -- your looks?

= 1 1/2 MONTHS LATER =

professor: your blouse matches your eyes today
professor: do you deliberately wear things to match your eyes or does it just happen?


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Erik
 Posted: Mar 14 2012, 11:00 PM
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STAY COOL EVERYONE
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was your blouse the colour of limpid pools <3

QUOTE
like that time in the coffee shop


oh

man

so imagine this guy in ironic lederhosen, sitting in an urban coffee shop. everyone hates him because he's so damn pretentious about it, but nobody can be bothered to say anything.

but if you think about it, why say it-- WHEN YOU CAN YODEL IT?

or that's what the BM mods thought when we saw him. the plan was to get up, march through in single file, and once we were at the door we would yell out 'YODEL-LAY-HEE-HOO', turn around to stare at him, and breeze out like the arbiters of good sense that we were.

but what actually happened was that we lost our nerve, screamed out 'YODELLAY', then ran into the street before anyone could respond to what was in essence a collective fart



and i have laboured over how to tell this

before deciding that there is no way to dress it up

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carciofi
 Posted: Mar 15 2012, 12:34 AM
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captain bird
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QUOTE (Erik @ Mar 14 2012, 08:00 PM)
but what actually happened was that we lost our nerve, screamed out 'YODELLAY', then ran into the street before anyone could respond to what was in essence a collective fart

wheezing quietly in this coffee shop

because it is so true
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Erik
 Posted: Mar 15 2012, 01:22 AM
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you know what else is true

(not safe for church)
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sunreon
 Posted: Mar 16 2012, 04:01 PM
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the evil overload
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I have an amazing propensity for verbal typos.

QUOTE

Me: I don't know anything about this show other than it's about last season.
TD: What, no it's not.
Me: Well it always felt like it. It has the shows from last season! You know, Dracula and Hamulet.
TD and painter: *both turn and stare*
TD: Hamulet? Is that like an omelette?
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XANDER
 Posted: Apr 25 2012, 12:45 AM
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so abbey is living in my house
everything is an adventure

tonight i decided to drano the bathroom sink

user posted image

QUOTE
XANDER: okay, so i gotta use the tool first
XANDER: the sink is clogged because of your hair
XANDER: there's going to be so much hair
ABBEY: a word of warning
ABBEY: i puked in your sink
XANDER: what?!?!?
XANDER: why the fuck did you puke in my sink!!!
ABBEY: i don't like puking in the toilet!!!
ABBEY: it's gross!!!
XANDER: i don't care if you shit there!!!
XANDER: you do not get to hurk in my sink!!
XANDER: jesus shits
XANDER: out of the sink the toilet and the tub
XANDER: you picked the sink
ABBEY: i didn't know the tub was an option!!
XANDER: IT'S NOT
XANDER: YOU'RE NOT DRUNK


for two hours prior to the drano-ing of the sink
we had been writing porn
in which we sit on different floors of the house on our laptops
because otherwise we would weird each other out looking at each other
it makes the instructions on the box hysterical

QUOTE
STEP 1: 18'' FLEXIBLE TOOL

A: INSERT tool into drain opening as far as it will go. Never force tool into drain.
NOTE: Some drain stoppers may need to be removed to accommodate tool.

B: Move the tool up and down two inches to better loosen clog.

C: CAREFULLY REMOVE tool from drain as there may be attached clog material.

D: For sanitary purposes, IMMEDIATELY DISPOSE of tool BEFORE proceeding to Step 2. Do NOT attempt to use tool after pouring Pro Concentrate Gel down drain, as product could splash up during tool use.


actually drano snaking of the sink begins
it is filled with hair
i used my hands and no gloves

QUOTE
ABBEY: oh my god
ABBEY: i'm gonna puke
XANDER: well this time you're gonna hurk in the toilet
XANDER: you take that god damn lysol aersol can and make that shit smell all lemony fresh before you shove your face there
XANDER: but you are hurking in the toilet


i have never laughed so hard cleaning a drain in my life
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abbey
 Posted: Apr 25 2012, 01:35 AM
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to my credit i puked half in your sink and half in your toilet once it dawned on me what was happening

i am an elegant house guest

QUOTE
ABBEY: you're gonna find like
ABBEY: a half-formed mutant baby down there

MINUTES LATER

ABBEY: oh my goddddd
ABBEY: okay use your bicep strength
ABBEY: to pull hair baby out of the drain


QUOTE
ABBEY: why are you doing that without gloves
XANDER: cuz i'm nasty
XANDER: i should make you do this without gloves
XANDER: *BLEH*
ABBEY: are you gagging now
XANDER: yes
XANDER: i got some in my mouth to be honest


then she chased me around the bathroom with her 18" tool
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sunreon
 Posted: Apr 26 2012, 01:35 AM
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the evil overload
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Dude, Abbs.

Gotta be a responsible Long Haired Person. Comb that shit at least once a day and gather it up and throw it in the wastebasket. And clean it out of the drain when you shower!

... >.> I wipe mine on the shower wall. And then I gather it up when I'm done cause otherwise the shower won't drain.
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abbey
 Posted: Apr 26 2012, 05:58 AM
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i actually do that through the day but my hair is falling out from a long-term illness and i must not get all of it

bummer i know
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sunreon
 Posted: Apr 26 2012, 10:54 AM
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the evil overload
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D: Bummer indeed! *shares*

We'll replace it with mine.
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XANDER
 Posted: Apr 27 2012, 01:57 PM
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local advice god
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QUOTE
We'll replace it with mine.


why is barbermonger like one unending horror movie
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XANDER
 Posted: Apr 28 2012, 10:14 PM
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A MASSAGE ADVENTURE

so one night i got abbey to give me a back massage with regular body lotion. the 27th was my dad's birthday so we went and got him some aromatherapy stuff, and bath and body works has buy 2 get 1 free on these things. and i was like, "let's get this massage oil, i owe you a massage."

LATER THAT NIGHT

QUOTE
ABBEY: *giggling*
XANDER: what
ABBEY: that tickles
XANDER: what tickles
XANDER: ...does this tickle


and so begins a 15 minute tickle war
there are a few moments of peace but they do not last
best quote of it all

QUOTE
ABBEY: STOP TICKLING MY BUTT


it's a good thing my new roommate hadn't moved in or she would have a really choice opinion of us right now
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sarisepic
 Posted: May 1 2012, 12:37 AM
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My brother and I are really close and he has finally started listening to Dubstep. Our conversation tonight

QUOTE

Brother:Hey those dubstep dancers are crazy. LIke advanced versions of the robot.
Sar: Or there's always the ravers
Brother: Yeah but they're just so drugged up it doesn't matter *mimics a crazy dance*
Sar: Yeah! I CAN TASTE THE SOUND!

//five minutes later as my mother talks to my brother about children//
Sar:What If instead of listening to mozart babies listened to dubstep?
Brother: I CAN TASTE THE UTERUS!- wait... nevermind*facepalm*


And that was my night.

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sunreon
 Posted: May 2 2012, 12:57 AM
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the evil overload
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(My life is work. This is where all my quotes come from.)

So a few years ago we did Les Miserables. And during "Empty Chairs and Empty Tables" in a LIVE PERFORMANCE...

QUOTE
Marius: SHANTOM FADOWS ON THE WAAAAAAALLLLLLL
Empty chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaairs at empty taaaaaaaaaaableeeeeessss
*still singing*
All of the crew and cast: *DYING backstage*
Marius: *finishes song, exits* .....okay, what did I do?


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sunreon
 Posted: May 7 2012, 11:40 AM
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the evil overload
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Betreen.

As in Betreen a rock and a hard place.

Yup.

That was me last night.

That's all I got.
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